


A Helping Hand

by Sunshineandteddybears



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Emotional Hurt, I wrote it before Redux aired, Janus is referred as Deceit, Janus just wants to be a part of the group, Pre-DWIT, Pre-SVS Redux, oldish fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 09:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30019989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunshineandteddybears/pseuds/Sunshineandteddybears
Summary: A look into Janus' mind during Selfishness vs Selflessness
Kudos: 6





	A Helping Hand

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally made for a Deceit appreciation zine back in the summer of 2019, before we ever learned Janus' name. But it was never released as one of the mods had a lot of issues happen. So we were finally given permission to do with our works as we pleased. So, posting it.

All he wanted to do was help. 

The other sides, dubbed by Roman as the light sides, got to help Thomas all the time. They got to give advice and argue their points on the issues in their creator’s life. They got to be heard. Some more than others, but they got to be heard.

He wanted to be heard too.

So he took on the appearance of Logan, popping in to try and convince Thomas why it had been important to not go to the wedding. To instead go to the call back. Thomas had been lying to himself, so it gave him the perfect opening. In his eagerness to contribute in something that truly mattered, he had slipped up. Made a mistake. And his identity revealed far sooner than he hoped. It wasn’t too bad, Roman gave him helpful tips to better his technique (as an actor the creative aspect was rather like a kindred spirit to him). He even got a nickname! Something he probably shouldn’t have been excited about, but Roman gave them to the others -mostly Logan and Virgil- so it helped him feel more included. Even as they tried to exclude him. 

In all honesty -ironic as it was- he was hurt how no one believed he could be honest about anything. That he didn’t possess an honest opinion. That his opinion was not worth being brought to the table. He was a part of Thomas just like all of them, and he was there to help him. Regardless if they realized or not, he was there to help. A fact he pointed out to Virgil when he said he couldn’t be trusted. That was something else that hurt.

They had so many arguments for why he shouldn’t be among them, and he fought back with facts of his own to prove his usefulness. It was exhausting and frustrating, but he wanted to be heard. He wanted to finally get his say. And it took talking about how lies led to Europe being free from Nazis to get him on the floor. A low bar, but he would take the advantage if it meant he could convince Thomas that thinking of himself sometimes was important.

Patton was too stuck in the belief that because Thomas promised to go, they had to, no matter what. While Roman believed that a big opportunity like the call back should be a reasonable explanation of not going. Deceit latched on to the fact he had at least one ally, one person who understood. Even if Thomas was lying to himself about what he wanted to do, there was someone else besides him who knew the truth. 

But Patton still insisted that they needed to be there for Thomas’ friends. And in a way, Deceit could see his point. Friends were important, so he offered a compromise. If they gave a little fib to preserve their feelings, it’d allow Thomas to go to the callback with little to no consequences. And Roman provided an excellent fib to use.   
  
“No, lying is already bad enough!”   
  
Ouch. That hurt a lot. So much so Deceit even gasped. He played it up so that the others wouldn’t realize how much it actually affected him, but nonetheless it did. He wasn’t bad. Okay, sometimes he was bad. Sometimes lying was bad, he could admit and accept that. But not always. Hadn’t he already proved that with the thing about the Nazis? “But what about us?” he demanded, voice deeper as he tried to make his point.   
  
“What about us?” Was Patton serious? Did he not realize how important it was for Thomas to put his needs before others now and again? How could he be so blind to that? Didn’t he know how important this was for their creator? How miserable he’d be if he didn’t take the chance? How miserable the wedding made him already?

Perhaps he needed to change tactics. Perhaps he needed to show them how going to the wedding affected all of them. So he brought up how they never listened to Roman. Friendship was important right? So maybe that would make Patton at least consider his idea. But all that caused was Virgil snapping about how he was still there, causing Roman to misunderstand and think it was addressed to his person.    
  
And then Thomas voiced out how it wouldn’t hurt his friends if he lied. For a moment Deceit was filled with hope. Happy that perhaps he was finally being listened to. That Thomas was going to do something that would make him happy. 

Only for Patton to become shocked and offended that Thomas would even think that. And then proceeded to claim that Thomas didn’t mean any of it and that as his Morality, he knew what was best and that he wouldn’t be there at all if Thomas did. And then proceeded to scold Roman, shaming him for not doing the ‘honorable’ thing. Deceit was beginning to lose his foothold. He couldn’t let that happen.

And so he latched onto an important detail that left Morality’s mouth. “Do you know who else is here?.... Me.” Yes, this was his means of gaining back his grip. Because he was here, which meant Thomas was wanting to find a way out of the wedding. There was no denying those facts. And yet Patton tried, causing Deceit to take more drastic measures.   
  
In a blink of an eye they were in a courtroom setting, his cape exchanged for a suit and tie. He’d finally get to debate properly and plead his case. Patton could defend all he wanted, but with placing Roman as the judge and Virgil as the jury, he was sure he would reveal just how much Thomas didn’t want to go to that blasted wedding. 

And what a thrill it was to finally be able to speak freely. Like taking flight for the first time. He had, dare he say, fun charming his ally and teasing his opponents. In some cases he could admit he might have gone a little far, jealousy taking over when addressing Patton or Logan when the logical aspect was brought up as a witness. But he tried to keep his cool. He didn’t really want to make enemies. He just wanted to make a point.

A point he believed he was in fact making. Patton couldn’t find any solid evidence to support his case, Roman was in the palm of his hand, Virgil was disgruntled seeing reason, and Thomas- Thomas was starting to accept the truth.

Deceit felt light on his feet when Virgil declared Thomas guilty of his charges. Yes! They realized that Thomas wasn’t so completely selfless. That even he could be a bit selfish. And that wasn’t bad. It was ok, healthy even, to be selfish sometimes. And it would all come to fruition once Thomas went to that call back. All that was needed was Roman’s sentencing. Though even that wasn’t necessary because his point had been made-

“To one day at the Saint Clifford's Chapel on the day of Lee and Mary Lee's wedding”    
  
Wait what?   
  
“Wait what?”   
  
He hadn’t expected that! He thought Roman had been on his side! Didn’t he want the call back? Why was he forcing Thomas to give up such a big chance at his dream? Deceit didn’t understand, and as Roman claimed Thomas wouldn’t dream of obtaining what he wanted through deceitful means, he felt a whole new kind of hurt. “But that’s not true!” Why weren’t any of them getting it? Thomas lied sometimes and that was ok!    
  
As was typical, Virgil was quick to throw a jab his way and Deceit was too hurt and frustrated to even pretend otherwise. To make matters worse, Thomas had missed his point entirely. Had assumed Deceit would be happy to point out Thomas wasn’t as selfless as he thought he was.  _ That wasn’t what you were supposed to get out of this! _ He thought as he growled out how his creator still was missing the point.   
  
It was astounding how all of them were so oblivious to the serious matter at hand. That they didn’t get that the whole court of law thing was an exaggeration to get the message across. They didn’t get the symbolism. They took it for face value and not for the moral at the end. Did none of them ever read an Aesop’s Fable?  _ Maybe I need to go with something simpler. _ And with that in mind, he began to use an analogy about life as a piñata. It was clear and simple, short and sweet. No way for any of them to misunderstand. Patton even followed along a bit with how it was all full of stuff to make them happy.   
  
Perhaps his tone was a bit too harsh due to his frustration, but he was at his wits end. But it was fine because they would understand at long last-

“I believe he’s suggesting that you beat someone up and then rob their unconscious body.. Right?”   
  
It was in that moment, while filled with disbelief and horror, that Deceit was reminded that Roman was in fact Remus’ twin brother. As different as the two halves of Creativity were, moments like this were eerily clear that they were of the same coin. “NNNOOO!” The fact Roman looked baffled that he hadn’t been correct only fueled the oncoming headache Deceit was forming as he exclaimed in exasperation how he was trying to teach them a lesson. A mission that revealed itself to be impossible!   
  
That was when Logan returned.    
  
Instantly, everyone seemed so much happier and bitter jealousy burned deep inside the lying aspect. But he took a moment to calm, putting his cool façade back on as if he hadn’t been losing it mere moments ago. If they didn’t want to listen to reason and put him down, fine. Their loss. He gave a warning to them all of how Thomas’ friends would feel if they knew he was forcing himself to go before informing his creator that he would always be a part of him, revealing his own special logo they all carried. The other sides seemed shocked, but Patton at least seemed to find his logo cute if his cooing about the tongues was anything to go by. A small consolation to the treatment he received.   
  
“I’m not going anywhere.” he added, “And there are smarter ways to get people to do what you want anyway.” With that, he sunk down back into the Mind Palace.    
  
His place at the table hadn’t gone the way he hoped, not by a long shot. But Deceit was more determined than ever to make Thomas realize that his so-called dark sides weren’t some villains to vanquish or lock away. They were just as much a part of him as the others, and what they had to say mattered to. Patton and Virgil weren’t always right.  _ Maybe it’s time to let the Duke come out to play. _


End file.
